Sunday, September 16, 2012

What did you have for lunch ?

Newspapers are falling over themselves in trying to figure out what happened to Manmohan Singh. What has suddenly prompted the slew of economic announcements. And what has made him so brave after all the dithering for so long. While there has been much speculation, I am afraid all the pundits have got it wrong For, you see, in order to understand the behaviour of all our leaders over the last two days, you have to look no further than what they ate.

Firstly Madam Gursharan Kaur has been making Dum(b) Aloo (PJ courtesy Chotu) all this while. She switched two days ago to Makki ki roti and Sarson ka Saag. It is well known that the said food, when washed down with copious amount of buttermilk rather emboldens a certain group of people at 12.00 noon. If you notice, all the policy pronouncements have come out at 12.05 over the last two days.

At the other corner of the country, you may have noticed that there has been no comment from a certain portly lady. For she normally has Thayir sadam on Saturdays and Sundays for brunch. The soporific qualities of this food is rather well known, so the good lady is, I am afraid, fast asleep and hence has not commented.

Her neighbour, a former Prime Minister is in an even deeper sleep. His lunch is usually Ragi Mudde which, has been scientifically proven to be the miracle cure for insomnia - that's why shops in this state open for business at 11.00 AM and then promptly close for the afternoon siesta at 12.30 PM.

One of the ladies closely watched has been cooking copious quantities of Ilish Maach. Now everybody knows that sane humans from outside the state run a hundred miles when a worthy pours mustard oil to start making this dish. Perhaps that's why nobody wants to keep this lady company and perhaps that's also why she says cholbe naa to everything 

A father -son duo, also closely watched are thoroughly confused and not sure what they are doing. This is because their lunch menu comprised of kebabs, kormas, biryani, kaliya, nahari-kulchas, zarda, sheermal, roomali rotis, and warqi parathas. After such a lunch they are walking about in a daze and therefore not very clear of what is happening.

The leader of the opposition has called for a bandh in protest on Thursday. Did you wonder why Thursday ? Because in her household Kadi Pakora is served only on Wednesdays. Now no self respecting person from her region will embark on yelling at two thousand decibels unless fortified with Pakode which has marinated in Kadi for at least 3 days.

What about the firebrand controversial leader from the land of the Mahatma. He is sulking because Vadilal ice cream is not available in the freezer outside his house - all stocks having been diverted to Law Gardens where pencil slim women who are just married are frenetically trying to put on a mountain of weight.

The only lot which are yapping away are the business types who are  falling over themselves in delight. Do you know why ?? On weekdays they have to do business breakfast meetings where they have to slurp corn flakes (yuk)  and shovel scrambled eggs (doubly yuk) in an effort to look corporate. Thankfully at weekends their bibis are serving parathe or idly/dosa which they are allowed to eat with both hands. That bliss is what is causing them to issue orgasmic remarks of delight.

Its all in the food ...........

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